It’s crazy how we can learn lessons in the most common everyday occurrences of life. Take today, for example. I received my lesson as I drove home after work.
I was traveling on a 2-way road as I left work during the evening rush hour. Traffic on my side of the road had stopped, waiting for the opportunity for someone to make a left turn. While we were stopped, I noticed a vehicle to my right waiting to turn left into traffic heading in the direction I had just left.
Traffic in the opposing lane had finally eased up, when I saw the person in the car in front of me motion for the turning vehicle to come on out and make their turn. I thought to myself, ‘That’s a nice gesture.’
Well, my feeling of pleasure didn’t last long. As soon as the car began to come out into their turn, the vehicle in front of me took off, stopping the other car from entering the roadway. I couldn’t see it with my eyes, but I could sense that person laughing because they had tricked the other driver.
Due to a feeling of pity and anger, I decided to stop and let them out in front of me, the polite thing. I honestly felt that I was doing the right thing. But as I sat waiting for their move, I watched them sit still, just looking at me. They would not move from their spot.
Immediately, I began receiving my lesson. The turning driver had gotten burned by the person in front of me and decided to wait until there was no one coming in either direction. They assumed that I would trick them as well.
How many times in life have we been burned by someone and became fearful or suspicious of others after that experience? It happens more than we would care to admit.
For instance, a woman gets abused by her husband and after they divorce she is afraid that every man she meets will also be abusive. So, she resists any type of meaningful relationship. She bases her fear on what she has experienced in her past.
Here’s another example. A couple becomes an active part of a local church. They join the church because they feel loved and accepted. But after a while, something happens, or something is said to cause them severe emotional pain. Maybe a fellow church member is overheard talking about them. Maybe the church leadership has become extremely demanding or verbally abusive. Either way, they are hurt and decide to leave that church.
From then on, they receive multiple invitations to attend various churches in their community. They want to but are afraid that they will experience the same pain as before. So, they simply sit at home, occasionally watching a television ministry, hoping that will satisfy their longing for spiritual fulfillment.
Just like the man who would not turn in front of me for fear of being tricked again, sometimes we resist making our next move in life because of what has happened to us in our past. The pain goes deep. We try to hide it and explain it away as us being satisfied the way things are. And the whole time we are crying on the inside, wishing things were different.
There comes a time when we must make up our mind that even though it might hurt; even though it might not work out, we must make a move. Fear has no business controlling our lives. Fear is a lie. Fear tells you that things will end up just like they did the last time when you got hurt. Fear tells you that there is no way things can ever be different because of what has happened to you. Fear keeps too many people chained to the bed of compromise, bed of addiction, and bed of hatred.
When we decide that fear is no longer our master, then we can step up and step out into something more than what we’ve settled for. But it is a decision. It doesn’t just happen. You don’t wake up one day and the fear is gone. You must decide that fear is no match for your determination.
If your previous spouse abused you, make up your mind that all men aren’t that way. If you have been hurt in a church, make up your mind that all churches are not that way. The only way for victory to manifest in your life is to recognize and respond to the fact that fear is a lie.
So, what are you going to do? Will you continue living in fear? Will all those what-ifs keep taking up space in your mind? Or are you finally going to stand up and say, ‘Enough! The past is the past. It’s a new day and I am going to live my life without fear.’ Fear is a lie. Don’t believe what it says.
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